I Lied

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DoriSo I know I said I was done with relationships.  Going my own way.  MGTOW!

I really was.  I had zero interest in going through the heartbreak again.  I have a long list of failed relationships.  From lies, infidelity to secrets that I wish I never found out.

I met Dori 3-ish years ago.  Through an online dating site.  Though we turned out to be good friends instead of dating.  We talk frankly and openly about everything.  I just didn’t see her as girlfriend material then.  Lots of reasons I won’t go into.

About a year after I got my house, she came over and we watched movies and bullshit about life and experiences.  Another month goes by and she came over again.  I don’t know what made me decide to see what would happen, but I gave her a peck on the lips as she was leaving.  She pecked me back and then went home.

A couple of days later I brought it up and asked why she returned the peck and didn’t knock me on my ass for doing it.  Basically she had been waiting for me to change my mind about her.  From there things grew.  Currently I’m very happy with her.  Hell I’m crazy about her!

I pray this is finally the one for me.

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Late Blooming Punk

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Late Blooming PunkI’ve been all over the music spectrum since my youth.  I started out in the 80’s with Hard Rock and Heavy Metal.  Moving to Hair Bands.  Some New Wave.

In the 90’s it was Butt Rock (lol).  But I always got bored of the music so quickly.

Repetitive lyrics and worn out, over played nonsense.  Don’t get me started on stupidly long guitar solos.  I started bouncing from station to station on the radio to try to find something that really caught my attention.  It got to the point of I’d rather listen to nothing at all because of the regurgitated short playlists and commercials.

While I’ve always liked some diversity in my music.  Some Jazz, Big Band and the like.  I still like some Harry Connick Jr. on occasion.  I felt lost otherwise not finding my place.

Then in the late 2010’s, the internet saved me.  I could find music that wasn’t commercially pushed on me by the lack luster selection of radio stations.  Pop-Punk.  Sure you might hear the occasional Blink-182 or Sum 41 in the mix from a radio station.  Mostly though the majority of bands weren’t played on any stations I had available in the Hampton Roads area of where I lived when I found them.  Certainly not in the norther lower Michigan area I live in now.  So Spotify became my best friend.

So many bands I stated finding.  New Found Glory, Story Untold, First and Forever just to name a few of the hundreds I had discovered.

Then I wanted to know where it all started.  Punk.  I had a punk friend, but he and I didn’t always see eye to eye.  He’d treat me like I’d never understand punk music.  Also turned out he was rather racist.  I cut ties with him and sought out movies to find out more.  CBGB and Dinner in America are the two I started with.  While I’m sure they aren’t historically accurate, it was a close dive.  YouTube too.

Can’t say I’ll add more sub-genres to my repertoire, but I’d like to find more songs that aren’t all super hyper punk.  Similar to Watermelon from Dinner in America.  I seem to be more inspired by Garage Punk, Art Punk and perhaps the White Stripes.

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Notta Lotta

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Isn’t much exciting going on in life lately.  No new games to play yet, but I have a few favorites I may try once winter drops in.  Living in Michigan is way too cold for me.  I’m here because of family.  Otherwise I’d travel the country to find a warmer home.  Plus find people more like myself.  Up here, I’m in a class by myself it seems.

Things I’ve been working on is a new kick drum head.  This is my rough draft:

Drum Head

Other than that, I’ve been doing things to my house to cut down on the insane electric bills I get in the winter from having such a dorky setup.  The soon to be studio has not one but three sliding glass doors on it.  Major heat escape.  I’ve covered all the doors in insulation and the exterior doors have T1-11 composite siding on them.  I’m not much of a handyman, but I think it turned out decent until I can have them removed and turned into true walls and the interior one replaced with a real door.  Providing I can find a contractor that actually wants to freaking work!  I find so many that tell me they’ll come out and I have the money to pay.  But they never show up!

And cleaning up the major amount of leaves.  Working as much as I do, this all doesn’t leave much time for gaming, music or movies.

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Why Are Friendships So Fickle?

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Why Are Friendships So Fickle?It’s something I’ve noticed since in the past 20 years.  It’s super hard to make friends.  Providing you find people closer to my age with any common interests.  In my case it seems especially hard to find common interests.  I guess I’m much younger at heart than I am physically.  But when I do think I’ve found a friend, it ends shortly after I’ve been useful to that person.

It’s like people no longer like to hang out and just converse with one another or share an interest.  It’s always they see you like someone they can use to get things done. Once they’ve gotten what they want from you, it’s basically over without any warning.  Should you want to just hang out with them, they no longer have time for you.  Usually by ignoring your calls, texts or verbal requests.

Why is that?  What happened to spending hours just sharing time with a person?  Now it’s do them a favor or don’t bother at all.  Person after person has come and gone in my life over the years and I generally come out feeling used.  I’ve made one new friend in the past 20 years that doesn’t expect anything but good company from me.  It’s great!  But outside of that, time has taken it’s toll on me and I no longer seek friends.  Or anyone to go out with.  Dating is the same way.  It’s use or be used.  Never share and grow.  Hence MGTOW.

It’s a good thing I like solitude 🙂

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Thanks Rockstar..

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Thanks RockstarWell we’ve all seen the videos of Rockstar Games adding BattlEye to GTA Online.  One of the biggest games in the past 10 years.

Videos saying:

  • It works to curb modders
  • It hurts players by slowing down the game
  • Has removed thousands of players who use Steam Deck/Linux
  • Lies about BattlEye not working on Linux when it has for years

The list goes on.  Even DDoS attacks on Rockstar Games servers.  Blah, blah, blah…

I’m one of the affected by this changes as I Game on Linux!  However, I’m saying thank you.  You made it so thousands of players can’t waste any more money on your games.  No more buying Shark Cards.  No need to spend money on the upcoming GTA 6.  Just saves us money all around.  Because your new stance won’t change the majority of Linux users minds about how we choose to live our lives.  There are plenty of other games who’ll let us play their games.  Take our money and even see the reason to support platforms other than consoles and Windows.

You can fix this easily by phoning BattlEye to allow it to work on Steam.  But if you refuse, then me and my bank account thank you!

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