Doing Things I’ve Put Off

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Doing Things I've Put OffOne of the biggest advantages of being single, is doing things you end up putting off because the combined goals of a couple don’t always match. Especially in the case of opposites attract. Inevitably some dreams and goals get put off for the greater goals of the unity.

I’m excited to be able to do things I’ve put off for years and years because of having shared resources.  Now I am able to focus solely on my own goals and dreams.

I had a bucket list that I never thought I would finish.  Once I bought my house, I found I did them all.  Now it’s time to enjoy all the things I couldn’t before now.

Examples are:

I now own a set of high quality drums.  Not the cheap thrift store ones I had as a kid in 1986.  Because of compromises and shared goals, I sold them in 1989.  That shared goal had me put off my dreams of playing drums again until 2013 when I bought my Roland TD-11KV set.  I was then able to expand my dreams by buying some really sweet guitars!

Plus I always wanted my own music studio.  Before I was single, I had no drums.  So why have a studio?  Now I have my own house with a room that I will convert to a studio in the next year or two.

Speaking of my own house.  I could never have much say as to how things were decorated.  As a gamer and lover of fantasy worlds of knights, wizards, castles and dragon; I am now able to decorate my house exactly as I want with all the cool pictures and decorations of a person with my tastes.

Cooking was never my forte before.  So many times I had to eat things cooked for me that I didn’t really care for.  Now I get to not only eat exactly what I like, but I’ve learned to become quite the cook!  I also have learned to take all my favorite dishes and make them super tasty and healthy!

Side note: I’m almost a year celebrating my loss of 185 pounds and I’m still averaging 175 pounds!!  I’m super excited that I feel better than ever and look so slim!

I now get to watch my favorite movies!  Listen to my music all the time!  I’m free to do things at my own leisure.

I get to learn new things and buy things as I please.  It’s a nice feeling having this kind of freedom.  I’m open to dating someone still, but this time I need to have some similar interests.  This whole opposites attract never worked well for me.

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No to Consoles

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No to ConsolesTry as I may.  I just cannot get used to a controller.  Whether it’s the native Steam Deck controls or the Xbox controller I bought and mainly used while my deck was connected to my TV.  Plus, my favorite games don’t play as well on a controller (except GTA V).

Everything just never stopped feeling clunky and 40ish years of using a keyboard and mouse to play games with has really become like an extension of myself.  Not just for gaming.  But coding, editing and of course writing.  LOL  I still write by hand like a third grader.  I always tell people there’s a reason I prefer a keyboard.  The problem comes in when I write for pleasure and end up adding <code> to it 😉

So I sold my Steam Deck and all it’s peripherals for $400 to a co-worker.  I’m a computer gamer now and forever.

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Doing Better Single

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Doing Better SingleIn 2012 I went through 3 major heart attacks in a two-week period.  I was morbidly obese.  I was lazy and my heart became enlarged.  I was so weak and tired.  This was shortly after splitting up with my third wife.

I’ve been through three marriages.  Two ended because they were unhappy that we were not financially well off.  Even though we had two incomes.  One was just a scam and I made it out before they succeeded.  During my third marriage I had a job that made nearly $50,000 a year.  In 1999 that was amazing.  Yet we lived in a trailer and were mainly just getting by but eating out more than we should have.  Having basic cars.  Not having money in the bank.  However that job at Gateway was short lived as it was outsourced to India in 2001.

Looking back I never realized something.  Until I was faced with death, I always depended on someone else to make it through life.  I was super scared to be alone.  I believed with all certainty that the only way to afford a home was with a two-person income.  Or working 3 jobs as a single person which would make living in a home pointless.  Plus for every marriage I had, I also had a bankruptcy as we were always so in debt.

The past 12 years for me have been very interesting and enlightening:

  • 2012 / 2013 I just saved up money and moved back to Michigan.  Worked out a plan to pay my bills on-time every time!  Started rebuilding my credit.
  • 2013 – I got my own apartment.
  • 2014 – I changed from a high stress tech job entered a lower stress food industry job.  I took my talent for making people laugh and made my job not only fun, but more profitable.
  • 2015 – Changed job, same industry.  Tried various diet plans, but didn’t have much success.  Permanently injured my right knee (still have yet to have knee replacement surgery).
  • 2016 / 2019 – By this time I switched restaurants four times.  I was making money enough to live on my own for 7 years.  No girlfriend or roommate needed.
  • 2020 – I figured out the secret to losing weight effortlessly.  Stop eating stupid shit!  Also I discovered if I kept track of my income, I could spend it more wisely and merged it with my bill paying plan.  Plus at this time my credit score was doing really well.  Started making my dreams come true.
  • 2021 – Lost 100 pounds.  Had a decent savings account.
  • 2022 – Lost another 60 pounds.  Bought a decent car.
  • 2023 – I’m now maintaining a healthy weight of 175 pounds and I have more energy and happiness than I’ve had in decades!  Bought my own house.

It’s now 2024 and I’ve completed the bucket list I set for myself years ago.  I did it all on my own.  No girlfriend.  No wife.  I’ve grown to enjoy my solitude as well.  Just have a couple of people in my life that can’t figure out the definition of solitude.  I hope they learn soon.

All in all, I’ve had 36 serious relationships in my lifetime.  Not proud of it.  I’m not a woman who’s goal in life is to have a high body count.  But I have noticed something else now.  Every time I was married, even though we had more money together, we spent more than we made as well.  Now that I’m single, I have more money and I’m not hard up for anything.  I’m beginning to believe that another word for poor is WIFE.

I digress.  I hope to keep my success going for many years so that I may finally get to enjoy life on my terms finally.

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Learning to Make Stuff

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My work schedule sucks, but I make fairly good money.  Problem is not having time to enjoy my endeavors and learn new things.  I finally got the chance to sit down and take a crack at making my own shirt.  First shirt ended up in the trash 😂

My second turned out pretty darn good 😊  I used my online profile info and wore it around town today!  Got a couple of compliments so I’m encouraged to do more on my next free day.

Profile Shirt

Profile Shirt

Let me know what you think ✍

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I’m a Quitter

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I'm A QuitterNever quit.  Never give up.  Well that’s not always true.  In order to succeed sometimes you have to quit a whole lot of things and focus on new things to never give up on.

It’s almost been a year since I achieved my weight-loss goal.  That took 3 plus years to accomplish.  During which time I gave up the last few addictions in my life.  I’ve been pondering this for months, but I don’t think I have any addictions anymore.  Which makes me sort of a lonely person.  Every single person I know has an addiction.

Even my addiction to need someone to please in my life.  That ride alone has led me down so many bad paths.  All eventually destroying my life in some faction or another.  From being broke (financially) and broken (emotionally).  To being downright homeless.

I’ve hit rock bottom too many times.  I’ve even met the grim reaper on 3 separate occasions.  Each time telling me it isn’t my time yet.  As you might imagine, I’m not real eager to meet him again, as it may be my last time.

With a family that has more than it’s share of alcoholics and drug addicts.  I am thankful I never followed in their footsteps.  Sure I used to drink, but honestly I never got into it and actually hate the feeling of loss of motor control.  I watched an uncle turn into a vegetable from heavily smoking weed.  Plus I can’t stand the smell of it.  I don’t even want edibles for my pain.  I’d rather live with the discomfort to know I’m in total control and my mind is as sharp as it’s ever been.

Addictions I once had and have since kicked are:

  • Smoking (15 years ago)
  • Junk food (4 years ago)
  • Gum (1 year ago)
  • Sugary drinks (4 years ago)
  • Social Media (10 years ago)
  • Overeating (4 years ago)

I still consider myself a gamer.  But I no longer play from dawn until bedtime like I used too.  Now I limit my game play to 1-2 hours a day when I’m off work.  On work days, I only play long enough to do my dailies.  I don’t crave sitting at my computer for very long anymore except when I feel creative.

I don’t even have a caffeine addiction.  I have 2 cups of coffee per day and the rest of the day it’s spring water.

I’m as clean as a person can get.  Sadly that means I stay away from others (intimately speaking) who do have such addictions.  Good thing I’m happy and healthier than I’ve ever been as I am 😊

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